Tuesday, January 30, 2007

how awkward was that?

Today's soundtrack:
La nozze di Figaro by Mozart

So last night, the smug marrieds and I went out to celebrate the end of thesisness (for those who missed the subtle subtext of yesterday's story, yes I am done writing my thesis). Naturally, this is how the evening ended:

Scene: Lydia's at around midnight... or maybe 1am... can't be too sure as Heineken was involved... L is in the bathroom, leaving D and I unchaperoned (very unEdwardian of us). Suddenly, staggering drunken 20-something with a drink in hand walks up to us.

Drunk Guy (hereafter known as DG): Hello, I'm DG.

He puts out his hand. D and I, being proper Edwardians, shake the DG's hand.

DG: I'm going home now.

Me: Okay then, don't let us stop you.

DG: With what?

Me: With going home.

DG is confused.

D: With the walking home.

D making the walking motion with her fingers. DG is very confused. Awkward pause ensues.

DG: You guys suck. You're no fun.

Me: Gee, does that pickup line usually work?

DG: I wasn't trying to pick you guys up. You guys were trying to pick me up.

Me: Really? By sitting here looking completely uninterested?

DG stares blankly. Awkward pause. I'm feeling rather saucy (perhaps because of all the sauce), so I actually shoo him away. Did the little hand motion and everything. Eventually, DG walks away, undoubtedly completely confused as to how such a wonderful pickup line could go so very wrong.

once upon a time...

Today's soundtrack:
"Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major, BMV 1007, I. Prelude" performed by Jian Wong
"On Saturday Afternoons in 1963" by Rickie Lee Jones

A long time ago, in a prairie kingdom far far away, there was a fair and consumptive maiden who dreamed being free from the evil Count Thesis. The evil Count Thesis had kept the fair maiden captive for nearly three years. He forced her to give up her friends, family, and knitting. The fair and consumptive maiden had a delicate constitution, and therefore was unable to rise up against the evil Count Thesis. She waited and waited (although some would call it procrastination) for a brave warrior to come and destroy the evil Count Thesis, but alas, no one came to her aid. One day, the fair and consumptive maiden understood that she alone could stand up to the evil Count Thesis. She took her trusty tome of Austen, held it aloft, and dropped it on the head of the evil Count Thesis. Finally, the evil Count Thesis was slayed, and the fair and consumptive maiden was free to travel to Italy in order to recover her delicate constitution.

Of course, on the way there, she was abducted by banditti while crossing the Alps, but that story is for another day.

Friday, January 26, 2007

asserting eternal scottishness

Today's soundtrack:
"You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Rolling Stones

Apparently, I'm not just related to Hilary Clinton anymore, but King Arthur too.

Everyone wants a piece of me.

whatever happened to the spanish inquistion anyway?

Today's soundtrack:
"Rebellions (Lies)" by Arcade Fire
"Float On" by Modest Mouse

After reading this, please treat yourself to the celebratory stylings of Spiritualized's "Oh Happy Day". Or, you know, whatever.

Personally, I'm still blown away by the fact that Spain - the land of the Inquistion and Enrique Iglesias - is pulling ahead of the rest of the world in the "let's stop with the size 0 bullshit" game. All my stereotypes are destroyed. The world is topsy-turvy. I half expect to see a country of well-educated and socially-progressive citizens the next time I'm in Madrid* (which will be, for those keeping score, at the end of April and the beginning of May. Plan your vacations accordingly).

Spain is trying to stop body image issues at their source, while Canada is still busy pointing and blaming the fat kid. Never thought that Canada would be trailing Spain in the arena of body image...

* I'm holding up a sign that reads "I'm being sarcastic". Some things just don't translate into ink and paper, or in this case, pixels.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

a toast to robbie burns

Today's soundtrack:
"Feel Good Inc" by Gorillaz

Well, it's that time of year again when the lucky few of the Robbie Burns' Night Singers can enjoy a bit of haggis (followed by a lot of scotch whisky) and let out a great sigh of relief that this year we're not responsible for leading the Scottish masses in this:

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne ?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’d in the burn,
frae morning sun till dine ;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
sin’ auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere !
And gies a hand o’ thine !
we’ll tak a right gude-willie-waught,
for auld lang syne.

I will, however, be favouring my neighbours upstairs with my shower-rendition of "A Hundred Pipers".

Recommended reading for the Scottishly-challenged (I'm looking at you, el princesa!): To a mouse and Tam O'Shanter.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

the sky is falling!

Today's soundtrack:
"Hymn to Freedom" by Oscar Peterson

In light of the growing environmentalism coming from my forestry-employed family, I give you the Carbon Calculator from zerofootprint. Apparently I'm just below average and personally responsible for the production of 3 tonnes of carbon each year. That being said, I'm pretty sure any carbon I've produced while in Saskatoon was carried by the wind and is now in Winnipeg. Suckers.

N.B. - No trees were harmed during the writing of this blog, although a goat was thrown off of a tower somewhere in Spain.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

the vindication continues

Today's soundtrack:
House: Season Two

Finally, a worthy use of modern science. As for the claim by the BBC that Dante scholars had long-believed that the greatest poet who ever lived had an aquiline nose, well that's just plain wrong. It's a commonly known fact that no one knows what Dante looked like and that all the statues and portraits were based more on conjecture than fact. I mean, come on! Geez...

Kate throws her hands up in disgust, mutters to herself incoherantly, and heads straight for the cookies.

Friday, January 12, 2007

cabin fever intensifying

Today's soundtrack:
Grey's Anatomy

Reason #49 why living in Saskatoon is nothing short of literary torture. See yesterday's post for Reason #48.

Must calm my poor nerves with some more chocolate chip cookies. Reason for the poor nerves? See below.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

cabin fever

Today's soundtrack:
Chopin's Nocturnes by Daniel Barenboim

They did it. They closed the university. They told me it never happens, that we'll be going to school no matter how cold it was before the windchill.

They lied, and now I have a snow day.

Shame I was already at school, and had basically finished work for the day, but the walk home through the blizzard made for a very Zhivago-esque experience. I now have enough Saskatchistan street cred to complain about the weather (Is it wrong that I don't know the appropriate spelling for "street cred"? Is it "street-cred" or "streetcred"? Does this very fact ruin any chance for real street cred?).

To fully illustrate the insanity of the situation that is Saskatoon, here's a picture of my backyard yesterday. About a knee's worth of snow at the deepest part. Nothing to sneeze at, clearly, especially when the Spaniard is in Japan and I'm stuck here with the snow shovel. Still, nothing too bad.

And here it is today. I could barely get the door open for all the snow that's blown in from Alberta (or possibly B.C. - hey, with global warming, anything's possible..). The highest bit of the snowdrift is up to my waist.

Nana can't remember the last time they closed the schools because of snow. Mom maintains that Prairiestock are just tougher than Islandfolk and, therefore, can make it to school, regardless of the snow. But it looks like even the native Saskatchistanis couldn't believe the blizzard that hit today.

As for me, I'm stuck in my basement, windows all covered with snow. Sure, I'm little stir crazy, but I'm still riding the high of vindication. Oh yes, vindication, my friends, because they all told me that I'd never get a snow day in Saskatoon. Mmm mmm... vindication tastes like hot chocolate on a snow day...

On a rather ranty aside, my neighbours have been doing the same load of laundry for 5 days. I put my basket of clothes on the dryer 2 days ago. Still no movement. This new cabin fever may have dire consequences for their delicates...